Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
