quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
