I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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