Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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