We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
