Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
