My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
