I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
