Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
