yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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