a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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