My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
