its not stalking. its research.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
