did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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