that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize