Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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