Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
