Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
