i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
