Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
