It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
