I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
