If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
my shit smells like andre
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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