So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
