don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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