I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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