What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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