i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
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