I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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