exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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