did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
