his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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