you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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