I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
