whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
