I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
