i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
