i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
