Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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