Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize