Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
