Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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