whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
