so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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