I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
