just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
