I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
