i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
