you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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