Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
