I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
