bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
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You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
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she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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