she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
