She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize