I don't usually arrange sex via text message
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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