this just has baby written all over it
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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