just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
