The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize