Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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