Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
we should paint friendship bongs
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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