You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
