At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize