we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She needs sedatives and a leash
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
