the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
