is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
