I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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